You just have to keep trying! Maybe it’s time for a med change? I’m not a professional on this but…if the meds were’nt doing what they were supposed to or we saw a change we tried a different one. OR maybe there is someting at school that is bothering him? Have you asked him or his teachers if anything has changed?  When my son acts differently than usual there is sometimes a reason for the regression, for example last year he became very argumentaive and defiant because the TA in the class was trying to help him or trying to organize his things and that made him angry and he stopped working and talking to me. I’m just saying ask…

I think what I would ask is how long has he been on this med?  It could be that he’s ready for a new med or a different dosage.  Does he see your regular family doctor or a psychiatrist?  I think that sometimes seeing a psychiatrist is helpful because they have more experience and are more specialized.

I feel for you and have had times where I have watched my son struggle and have felt so very sad.  I dream of getting an e-mail from his teacher that says, “You have an amazing boy and he tries so hard.”  But I never get those e-mails even though he IS trying so hard and he IS amazing.

So how do I get through?  I exercise almost daily (endorphins rock), I take him on mini-dates with just me, I remind myself that kids with ADHD change the world for the better.

Sometimes it’s hard, somedays tougher than others!  Medications didn’t work well for our son. I do everything I can to treat him with diet and natural supplements.  Mostly very good, but I can still relate to stepping backwards at times.  We can go through some pretty smooth times, then BOOM, energy is different, more negative.  My son is 4th grade, ADHD/Dyslexic/Dysgraphia.  School is tough, and stressful for him.  I know he struggles emotionally with this learning difficulties, and the “added” help he recieves.  It’s like being inbtween a rock and a hard place!  He needs the support, though it makes him stick out like a sore thumb!

Maybe your son is emotional due to added pressure and stress in school….So hard for ADHD/ADD kids if they have any LD’s, then hormones, and friend worries. 
Does he talk to you about things?  Girlfriend, or other peer issues? 
My son is 10 and can be moody….or moodier than normal from time to time.  I often wonder about the stress of school for him, even at 4th grade.  Then wonder about hormones too.

Seems to me no matter what method of treatment, any of us choose for our kids ADHD relief, there are some ups and downs. 

I never felt like the two medications he tried were the answer.  There are so many strategies for helping anyone with ADHD, multiple natrual supplements, and dietary approaches, that can help.  But many of us still end up here still looking for support and answers to the same basic issues common to ADHD families!

ups and downs on meds, not eating or sleeping, school trouble, friend issues, etc….We still come back.  Treatments may offer relief, or make things worse, or make no difference.  This cycle makes it hard to stay positive, but we must.  After the “downer day” or whatever the case may be, pull yourself up, and bounce back!  Right, yes, so I keep telling myself!

So, hang in there!

You’ve gotten some good advice. One thing I’d add besides checking if dose has been changed to keep up with his growth and weight gain, is to see if you are truly getting Focalin or a GENERIC. Sometimes generics don’t work as well.

Good luck! You have the right attitude, that’s for sure!
Patricia Aust; author of HYPER HARRY for kids 8-12, (available at Amazon.com).

I understand.I¡Çm a signle mom of twins, work full time, with one child that has ADD with dyslexia and the other child with slight learning delayed disability.  I am here as an adult ADD woman who wants to help my child feel less frustrated, and be proud of himself and do well in school.  This is effecting his self esteem and it breaks my heart that I can¡Çt make it all better.  Doing homework is so difficult this year (5th grade) and I have been starting to see specialists and get opinions of others.  Now I¡Çd like to speak and learn from other families that live like mine.  Thanks.

Namaste,
Tracey
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Hi resdog830

To the excellent comments above I would also add this review of a book by Dr Hallowell.  The book itself is called Superparenting for ADD.  Even just reading the review can make you feel more positive!  Very often I have found that whether I’m feeling ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ has not so much to do with my child with ADD, but how I’m experiencing things. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us that things will probably be OK, even if a bit difficult right now. 

Here’s the link -

http://www.drhallowell.com/blog/superparenting-for-add-review-in-the-journal-of-the-american-academy-of-child-adolescent-psychiatry/

my son was just diagnosed a yr ago. we have only tried one med with 2 different doasges. but i am studying in the medical field and some of my reading on ADHD has told me that different meds work differently for different kids. its trial and error. its 50% medication and 50% child. thats how i explained it to my son, the medication doesnt make you behave, it helps you to make the choices to behave.

I get by with ALOT of prayer and believing there is a God that listens and loves my son even more then me and wants me and the drs and teachers to do what is best for him.  Then I do the best I can..researching joining sights like these and talking to other parents.  Also letting the childrens pastors and other adults in his life know what is going on with him…he is in Tai Kwon Do and scouts.  I am a single mom so I try to surround him with positive male role models…while staying very involved myself.  Just realizing I am not alone..others care and others are going thru similiar things.  Like the others said…if something isn’t working might want to talk the the drs about trying something else with the meds.  Surrounding him with people that care about him and maybe getting him involved with something that can give him positive reinforcement like Tai Kwon Do or something he is interested in could go a long way to help his sef esteem.  It has my son..gradually things started “clicking” the right way after all the ups and downs…I atribute that to prayer and not giving up or settleling.  Of course ...he goes to middle school next year and everything changes…so many more prayers going up

What wonderful messages - thank you!  I going to re-read just to stay positive. To be honest, I hate his meds. I don’t give to him on weekends and holidays just so he’ll gain weight (he’s is super skinny). We’ve gone through strattera, vivanse, and now focalin xr. I do see a ped doc but he specializes in just ADHD.
  My son is in a special school for kids with ADHD, dysgraphia and dyslexia - I think I expected the school to fix him. It hasn’t. It’s more nuturing and that’s good, and they know how to work with these kids. But with all that, I don’t see improvements and I worry so much (more than I should because it probably is a lot of guilt on my part) that he’s just going to keep struggling and struggling.Maybe I set my expectations too high. Maybe I feel guilty that I can’t fix him.  And as I know you all know - that really the only thing as a parent you want for your child is for them to meet that potential that is locked inside.

I know what you are going though. My son is 10. He is in the 5th grade. He struggles with his Math. He seems to be trying making good grades (except math). Then he just stops trying. I wasn’t going to put him on meds. My husband wanted too because he was ADHD too. Tried vivance, concerta, and now he is on Focalin XR. It helps him focus some. Still his appitite is not great and he is so skinny. At night he seems to be hungier.  After we all go to bed he gets up sometimes and stays up to 2 A.m.He tries so hard to make and keep friends. But It Is hard for him. ADHD is a everyday struggle.The teacher says he waste time in class. and Don’t put forth effort. We will keep trying and praying.