I have a resume full of such failures. 

And yes, this is ADD.  WE focus on the “now” and fail to properly weigh the effect of our decisions on the future.  It’s the Exec. Functions thing.  Try telling that to your boss and you will be much more than demoted….

Get Help…  Take your Meds…  if prescribed.  Try a Coach…  God.. do I know what you mean.

Good luck.

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

YES! YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever since about 7th grade, for some reason I have made up crap about just about everything- if I had forgotten, or neglected, to do something that I HAD to do; or if I was doing something that I WASN’T supposed to be doing. And it hasn’t stopped. I don’t know why I do it… I’m just… I don’t know. The worst thing is, I HATE lying, and I HATE being disrespectful or seeing people being disrespectful to others; and yet I KNOW that what I do is completely disrespectful. And it just hurts, because I feel like no matter how badly I want to get something done, I end up putting it off, and then all of a sudden ALL of the time I had is just gone, and I haven’t started whatever it is-or have barely started it. I hate saying that it’s because I have ADD because I feel like it’s my fault, like I’m not doing the best I can to do it, but it’s just so stressful… I HATE having ADD.

I’m a RN and someones life may be on the line if I lie. I’ve learned that I have to fess up quickly. My initial reaction was to lie but I had to learn to not panic and fess up.

I can relate. Over the years I’ve had my share of oops I forgot. The best thing for me is to tell the truth. Apologize, and just say I forgot. Never use add as an excuse. Make a plan on how to correct the issue before meeting with the boss. Like I won’t let this happen again. Next time I will set a reminder on my computer, or cell phone. As for the walking out, been there done that. Again don’t blame it on the add, even tho you know that’s what it is. Take your meds, eat right, get plenty of sleep, set alams and timers, and never ever tell your employer or coworkers you have add.

Oh boy, do I relate to this. We ADDers tend to be quite forgetful. Like getting to work late…..exuses….forgetting to do something important….this is how we fail at our jobs. And meds don’t work for me. Why do you say we should never tell our employer or coworkers. Perhaps if they understand ADD they can help remind us etc.

DON’T tell employers and co-workers. I made the mistake of telling a coworker my ADD child is just like me but I’d never tell the boss cuz people end up getting fired. This person got mad at me & she told the boss I hv it even tho I never said that. One day when I transposed numbers my boss said, “Oh, that’s probably your dyslexia too.” I also told her he doesn’t believe in ADD! Nobody wants to believe we hv a reason for these behaviors!!! Ugh!!

Oh my gosh. Thank you all. I felt SO bad. The doctor just switched me to Focalin, so hopefully this helps.

OHHHHH yes! I have a doctorate and waded through a decade of school and training to get my first “real” job, which was - to say the least - not exactly the kind of job that played into my strengths as an adult with ADHD. My employer approved me to go to an out-of-state training, and unfortunately I had to fly out on my birthday - the only day I had requested off in 6 months - and I already had plans to visit friends in a different state that weekend (returning on my bday). I overslept the day I was supposed to fly out for my weekend vacation and was “AWOL” from work for about 45 minutes (big mess) and then missed my flight for my vacation and had to take a much later flight. That set the whole mess into motion - long story short, I tried to squeeze way too much into my schedule w/o being aware of how impossible it would be and I ended up missing my flight returning from my vacation AND - 12 hours later - I missed TWO consecutive flights to the training. I tried to cover it up and sneak into the training under the radar but wasn’t able to and my boss found out. Not only was she angry and incredibly confused about why I couldn’t make my flights (I had not yet disclosed ADHD to her), the HR department forced her to initiate a fact finding investigation about why I missed my flights, why I hadn’t told my supervisors I missed the flights, etc etc - they never told me what they were trying to investigate, but a few of my mentors who I confided in think they had to make sure I wasn’t trying to steal the travel money. (Good lord! I may have ADHD but I’m not a thief!!!!!)

In my efforts to get out of hot water, I had to seek counsel from a few of my most trusted mentors, and their guidance ended up being a blessing - I made the tough call to disclose ADHD to my supervisor and seek very minor accomodations, I found out how many of my coworkers truly valued me and were invested in me, and I got excellent advice about how to navigate a mess like that.

I ended up leaving that job and I started working parttime at a clothing store while I look for another position in my field that would be a better match for me - and as I’m writing this, I got a text from the person who helped me get that part time job that she heard I was 5 minutes late today (because my wallet went missing!) and that I can’t ever be late again or I’ll absolutely be fired ....

It is VERY hard to keep tumbling into these disasters and “failures” - I know we can ALL do it and be successful, but sometimes we have to find out the hard way how to focus on our strengths and not beat the living daylights out of ourselves when we trip up .... Positive social support and self compassion are key!

So you are in good company. You will get through this! GOOD LUCK

I’m sorry this happened to you, but I KNOW how you feel.  I missed a photo assignment and ended up shooting a subsequent event that was primarily a visit from Santa Claus in the same space.  At my workplace we are not permitted to use pictures, for our publications, of ANY religious affiliation. I remember being very confused when I showed up to the right location, right room, wrong time??  My supervisor called me on the carpet about the Santa photos and I had to admit that I had completely forgotten the author visit that was prior to Santa (and my assignment).  Not only blushing, but total mortification set in hard.  This is long before I suspected I had ADD—there isn’t even a word for what I felt like.  Things like this used to happen when I was in school.  I remember being teased and shunned in school for acting like a “retard” (my classmates word, not mine).  I became that demoralized child again 25 years later.

I, too, missed a meeting at work—I actually forgot what day of the week it was!!!  I was a home health nurse at the time and we set our own schedules.  I didn’t even have any appointments the morning of the meeting, so I definitely could have attended it.  I totally spaced it out!!  I figured out a better time management system after that, but I think we all learn by our mistakes.  We have to give ourselves some grace and forgive our goof ups. No one is perfect…. 

I hate to sound naive but I, too, don’t know why one shouldn’t tell co-workers or one’s boss that one has ADD.  Is the reason because this would be used against a person?  Could it give an authority person ammunition for firing someone?  Thanks to anyone helping to answer my question.

I have to remind myself that I have a disability. But it is one that can be managed with the proper tools and medications. I was worried about telling the people I work with, however, it turned out to work for the positive. My boss will remind to write things down and try and give me suggestions on completing tasks. I think he done some research (he would not admit to it). He tells me to do what I need to do to make it work. I run a personnel office with 1 helper. I work with 370 people. My psychiatrist told me from the beginning to be as honest as I felt comfortable with when disclosing the ADHD to my bosses. If anyone is worried about being fired, check on ADA through your company. A disability is covered under the law. You should discuss with your doctor any reasonable accommodation you would need through your work and fill out the proper paperwork with your employer. I am still trying to find the right “cocktail” of medication to help me. Just when I think I’ve got it, I then feel like it’s not working. I’m really reading up and printing tips to help with organization.

You are not alone.  I too have had instances when I “fudged” the answer.  I am not a dishonest person, in fact I am probable honest to a fault.  It just seems that when the error is pointed out, it seems so obvious how I should have handled it, and that the action I took (or didn’t take) seemed so stupid, that I feel that I need to give the “expected” answer.  Afterwards, I then ruminate over it and suffer anxiety and depression.  I have had instances where I am “naively” honest and then suffer the embarrassment that goes with being viewed as inept/stupid.  My difficulty in social situations, makes it difficult for me to form friendships with coworkers who could help me stay on track.  It can be very frustrating because others don’t understand how one can be so knowlegeable yet sometimes act so stupid.

I think you should only tell your boss and co-workers if you have add/or hd if you are not able to accomplish your tasks or assignments. This is all up to you whether you tell or not. I tend to forget sometimes but do confess so it will not happen again.
Does this help?

Yes, I have done almost the identical thing. Rather than beating myself up. I said I deserved the demotion, but that the results of my actions were “beyond” my disability. Then asked, what and how can I regain my position, and what help is available from my employer that will keep it from happening again.

Remember, your boss has an assistant that reminds her of meetings and appointments. Would it be wrong to ask their secretary to remind you of important meetings also.

As far as the outline. I always make an outline before any meeting, and print up the outline, so that it helps me keep focused during the meeting.

Hope my thoughts and prayers are helpful.

Louis

A note on forgetting….I forgot a court date to get out of a ticket,the police stated on the ticket, that I did not stop at a stop sign. I did stop, it just wasn’t as long as he thought I should have stopped. anyway. I felt he didn’t write the truth on the ticket,and I wanted to make sure I got justice.or,whatever I was trying to do. I had to pay the ticket plus other money for missing the court date.had a warrent for my arrest. gez,all for a cop that had nothing better to do. they made the court date so far in advance I don’t know how anyone is suppose to keep track of it. (This was before calenders on cell phones.)You can never win if it has to do with court.Just pay.Dam ADD

This is a normal human thing AND an A.D.D. thing (I think a.d.d.ers might do it more), so no worries—you are in excellent company!!!

Don’t tell your boss.  Believe it or not I worked for the manufacturer of Adderrall, Vyvanse, Intuniv,.  I was having some problems meeting deadlines.  I told my boss about my ADHD and requested any feedback she could give, and the next thing you know, out the door I went. You would think that working at a place like that they would be receptive.