you’re not alone. especially until being diagnosed with ADHD, we create lot of habits and patterns to compensate our shortcomings. that is due to the nature of this disorder. .it is not easily explainable and most of the time even the ADHD person doesn’t know what is going wrong.with himself/herself. it is easier to lie. we even convince ourselves that it is a white lie, you know not totally wrong but not hundred percent true either. it is our duty though to take the responsibility and break these habits.

I have ad/HD and do not have an issue being truthful.
I know they say there are certain situations that it appropriate to tell a little white lie I find that harder to do then anything when I speak I speak my mind I usually don’t stop or slow down in my thought to think about what I am saying

I have few people who enjoy being around me
I can’t see you add being a cause
One of my girls has add the other adhd
Neither if them tell lie that could be attributed the the add/adhd
Kalii does like to “tell stories”, and borrow without permission but her adhd only feeds those they went tcaused by it

While I found it happened to me, I also see that lying is a significant concern regarding most young children.  Regardless of their issues, they have to be taught the consequences of their action, but more importantly to feel safe enough to tell the truth.

As someone else mentioned, it’s pretty common in children with ADHD. Our 9 year old son has a real problem with it. He is getting better about admitting it after the fact. The thing that’s hard about living with someone who does that is that you never know when to trust them.

I think it could be really interesting if you could track down someone with ADHD experience, like a counselor, who could help you work on it. There are great tricks for replacing unwanted behaviors with more desirable ones, which good therapists are familiar with.

The first step is to realize you’re doing it - that’s the hardest one! You are very courageous to have come this far.

Thanks Rosemary, I usually say what’s on my mind but for some reason I have this defense mechanism to say something other than the truth.  My only solution now is to go to my professor and tell her that I blurted out something that was not true.

I want to comment on the issue of children lying.  I know I have a lot of shortcomings and that’s why I want to cover it up but I don’t see myself being wrong for it.  I lie because I’m scared of what others may think of me.  For example, I procrastinate from doing my school work alot but if I can stop myself, I would do it in a heart beat!  I want to be able to focus on my schoolwork, I want to get good grades, and I’m really not that interested in whatever I’m replacing schoolwork with.  Something is making me stuck to it.  I feel a shame of myself when people think I’m lazy.  It doesn’t make me feel good.  I think kids would stop lying if authorities understand where they are coming from.  I think my defense mechanism of lying would stop if my directors understand that I mean well and that I’m not a lazy person.

Similar to lying, I suddenly blurt out inappropriate remarks without out thinking. I always say to myself “What the hell did I say that for?”. I always wish I could take it back. The comments I make are often rude, offensive and confrontational. It’s been that way all my life and I’m 60. I tend to avoid relationships because I figure I’ll just piss people off no matter what. Psychiatrists I’ve been to never said anything about it.

Stache, well said. I’ve got the same problem. Darn ADD!

I am an addult ADD and have the reverse problem. When your memory is like a Swiss cheese honesty is the best policy! The problem is being too truthful and expecting others to be the same. As a rule they are not, nor do they expect you to be. It feels vulnerable and can complicate stuff where a simple white lie would suffice.
On the other hand: a bad memory makes for a good conscience. It is an easy principle to abuse (and not just for ADD)

@Hallie Totally recognisable. Aging will help. Also: homework is no fun. Others not trusting is not very motivating! It is hard! But on the other hand: does resisting homework because you are angry and undervalued help any? Probably not. Hope you find some one to help you through this.

I have adult ADD, and I realized now that I do often “lie”, but it is not out of malicious and negative intention. I have been going to counseling and have gone through a lot of life changes recently, and I realized that the reason for me coming up with these lies (it was never lying about IMPORTANT things… always silly stuff, like adding something extra that i did in my day that i didn’t, or EXAGGERATING stories… that was a huge one) is because I was always nervous of doing the wrong thing.

For example, as a kid if I forgot my homework I would make up excuses for why I didn’t have it because I was so scared of getting in trouble. Or, if my mom asked me why I was late coming home from school I would say I was in traffic, when really it was because I couldn’t find my keys.

Even as an adult if I miss work because I am really sick, I feel I have to exaggerate my “sickness” a little further because I’m afraid that they won’t believe I was really sick… know what I mean? I truly believe that for ME these pointless white lies go back to me always trying to be perfect, always trying to be “normal” or doing things the way everyone else does.

Once I recognized this, I was able to improve it drastically! It was just a matter of realizing WHY and figuring out more about myself to fix the problem. Again, look into seeing a behavioral therapist or counselor… it really has helped me in so many ways!

I’ve learned a lot by helping my children and students.  They have taught me so much about myself!  The lying, exaggerating, etc. ...it’s our “Big Secret” - we don’t want someone to find out how stupid we are!  I’ve done it all…and sometimes it’s like an out of body experience…time slows down and I’m admonishing myself to just stop - giving myself the same pep talk of just owning up to my shortcomings as I do with children…AND I STILL can’t stop!  It’s so frustrating and I feel for others because I know how it feels.  It’s a bit weird reading all these comments because it feels like your reading my thoughts - I wonder if this is how my students feel when they realize I “know”. 

Recognizing it is the first step…sharing it with those you can trust is the second…and with continued practice it does get easier but there will still be those times when it’s not.  Just continue acknowledging it and educating others as well as yourself.  If it is serious enough to be impacting your ability to have relationships with others, then most definitely find someone to help you change it.  Hang in there - you’re not alone!

Yeah.
Lying is human. We all do it. Some more than others, but those of us with “frontal lobe” problems…

Tend to be impulsive, forgetful, distracted and often embarrassed about being thought of as stupid, lazy, crazy and any number of other boorish adjectives. Since we also tend to be spontaneous, creative, and imaginative, we can find ourselves listening to our voices spouting what we think others would like to hear. Usually that awareness comes way before we realize our mouths are open.

So, what’s your story?

@Skip…LOL…well said!

My situation with lying revolves around attempts to make up for my mistakes while attempting to avoid conflict. 
Example:  I forget some event is coming that takes me out of the house for a time when my wife is counting on me being home.
I know that when I realize the event is upon me and I have to go but telling my wife last minute will cause argument and conflict, I tend to lie about it and say I just heard about it rather than face the fact that I totally forget….again.
It is a horrible pattern that I recognize in myself now and am working very hard to change.  It has hurt my relationship and brought about serious trust issues.  The weird thing is that sometimes it just happens, almost like instinct.  I get asked about something and knowing the answer will cause conflict I blurt out a lie.  Which in the end makes everything worse.

Oh my, I find myself telling half truths a lot more than ever.  And because I am straying from my plotted course, I am having to tell a lie because I am taking longer than I should at the grocery store but in truth…I stopped at 4 stores before I got to the grocery store. Great marriage and No shopping addiction here, I just love the alone time. I can stay gone for hours.  The milk could sour before I make it home. Lol

I wouldn’t be surprised if any of us ADD people would confess to lying to cover up or to gain some empathy from others. We are used to people reacting badly to our shortcomings.

I used to be like that. I lied even if there was no need, just to make a reality that would fit the personna I wanted to be.

It took some religious study with someone who guided me to realize that I was actually lying and that I needed to stop. I am not perfect now, but I avoid lying and I own my responsibilities and my mistakes and any shortcomings that I may have. It’s not too bad. It’s not the end of the world as I used to think.

What I’d say, Stache, you can always try and take back anything you don’t feel good about saying. There’s only two options: The person you wronged may forgive or not. In my case, most people of those to whom I’ve apologized have been forgiving when they realize that I am coming forward and accepting my mistake, especially if my apology comes with a suggestion of what I am willing to do to repair any damage to the best of my ability (not promising the impossible because that would be taken as a lie again).

Wow. I can relate to EVERY WORD of this. But mostly that all people need to understand that there are consequences to what they do &/or say, no matter what, good & bad, ADD/ADHD or otherwise. My father. (Who is parent I most identify with-not ADD, but I believe my mom is & undiagnosed-btw) always used to say how much he hated a liar. That was also the quickest way to anger & alienate eveyone else in my family. That said, I still think most people do it to some degree (ADD-or not) but I know it’s a big deal-breaker for me in every kind of relationship. It’s right up there with stealing, manipulating & all other forms of negitive disrespectful behavior.

In the interest of honesty, I’m not always completely honest myself, but I do try. When I am dishonest, it’s usually to spare someone else feelings, or to avoid letting a situation get ugly. I’ve also been acused of the opposite. It’s been said (a lot) that I have “no filter.” Not true. I just don’t always realize I’ve said too much or spoke out when it was in appropriate until AFTER the fact. I do catch quite a bit before it comes flying out, but nobody but another ADHD brain even BEGINS to understand that one!!!!!! Honestly, I’d like to put an ordinary persons brain into my head to watch what all thoughts, emotions, reactions to (everything) for ONE MONTH!!! Now, remember I’m 42 YEARS in this private inernal world! Most people would jump off the nearest tall building after one week!!!! Honestly! I know this because that thought crosses my own mind occasionally. And some people think I have “impulse control” LOL!!!! Just because I do sometimes, if I were unable to adapt, I never would have survived childhood/adolescence! But most peole don’t have the patience to let me become balanced or be me. That’s when I realize most people haven’t a clue what patients REALLY is!!!! Those of us w/racey minds have to master a level of patience that would drive most people to a strait jacket! And people think we (ADDer’s) are…... You guys get my point by now I’m sure. So I’ll let the next person have their say. But OMG, does it feel good to have a place to vent this stuff!!!!!! Thank GOD for this site!!!!!